Need You Now
by Dancing Melon
Summary: AH, AU, Songfic/Oneshot  Bella can't handle her separation from Edward and decides to drink away her pain. A lot of booze and one drunk dial later, things turn out a lot better than she was expecting. Rated T simply for heavy drinking.


**A/N**: So ... I started this story a very long time ago, and I finally got around to finishing it. Basically I had the song "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum on repeat for a very long time, and the story kind of wrote itself from there. It just took months to do so. This is also a songfic, although I didn't necessarily need to leave the lyrics in the story for it to work. I just thought that it made it a bit better.

Also, this is probably going to be my last Twilight story for a while. Right now I'm really into Kurt and Blaine from Glee, so I have a few stories in the works about them. If you like the show, and you like Klaine, then feel free to check them out once I get them finished and posted.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight, or "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum.

* * *

_Picture perfect memories,_

_scattered all around the floor_

Bella Swan was not usually a messy person. But taking one look around the current state of her apartment would be enough to convince anyone otherwise. It was as if a tornado had made its way through every crevice of her living space, scattering pictures, empty beer and wine bottles, and clothing.

A photo album was among various objects placed on top of her coffee table. It was sitting right next to freshly drained beer bottles, turned open to a page with a picture of a young twosome. They looked to be about in high school at the time, smiling with their arms around each other. The boy was a good foot taller than the girl, with unusual copper hair and striking green eyes. The girl looked a little more plain compared to the boy, but looking closely you could see the depth to her chocolate brown eyes and the slight red tint to her hair.

Bella sloppily reached into the sleeve of the page and pulled out the photo. Her eyes, shallow, filled with tears, and a bit crossed, were the sheer opposite of how she appeared in the picture. Brown eyes that were once filled with life now looked cold, like a wave of death overtook them. She reached out to the boy in the picture with a trembling hand and traced his face, like she could almost feel the prickly stubble on his chin.

A single tear fell down her ivory cheek, which she wiped away hastily. Bella then threw the picture across the room, and it landed on the floor next to a note written in a manly scrawl. It was faded and nearly illegible, but the words "love" and "forever" were still able to be seen and read. Other photos of Bella and the same boy were all over the floor, showing assorted scenes of their life from high school dances to college graduation.

She then reached for one of the many bottles on the table, taking the last sip of the alcohol and scowling when it was gone. Bella stood up from the floor, using the couch to assist her, and stumbled to her refrigerator to grab another beer. When she noticed that there were no more left, she cursed and slammed the door shut.

_Reaching for the phone 'cause,_

_I can't fight it any more_

Across the kitchen counter was her cordless house phone. Bella smiled when she saw it, and started to wobble towards it, reaching out towards it like if she didn't, it would vanish from thin air. After what felt like days, she touched the cool plastic and picked it up off of the charger. It took a few tries to get a good enough grip to not drop it.

The numbers blurred together, but she had to try calling him. It has been a really long time since they talked; in Bella's drunken state it felt like it had been years. And after a few years, this call she wanted to make was more than acceptable.

It was so strange to not talk to him every day, like they had for the past eight years. He was everything to Bella: her lover, her supporter, her teacher, her best friend. But one night, just two weeks ago, changed all of that forever. Now things were different, because Bella couldn't just call out of nowhere to talk about nothing. That wasn't okay anymore.

She started to see the numbers a little better, even through her tears, and tried to dial his home phone number. She still had his numbers memorized, like they would forever be carved into her heart with his name.

"We're sorry, but the number you have dialed –"

Bella pressed the end button on her phone and shoved it back onto the charger, frustrated. She must have dialed the damn number wrong. He wouldn't disconnect his home phone, or his cell phone, because too many people had to reach him by telephone. Maybe she could try again when she actually remembered his phone number.

_And I wonder if I ever cross your mind_

_For me it happens all the time_

Returning to the living room without talking to him and no beer depressed Bella greatly. She sat down on her couch and leaned against the worn fabric, not even bothering to keep her thoughts away from him anymore. It just wasn't worth all of the effort.

They met when they were children, in elementary school. They lived in a small town by the name of Forks, Washington, where generations of kids grew up together, rarely moved away, and watched as their kids became best friends just like them. But the two of them were different. They both had the potential to get out of their small town life, which they did.

But they started out as friends, which was cliche, but it was hard to escape that in Forks. It took them a while to start dating, until their junior year in high school, but after that, Bella believed that it was just smooth sailing from there. They went off to the same college, the University of Washington, then after graduation they decided to continue to live in Seattle.

They didn't live together, because Bella had wanted to wait until they were married. But now she regretted that, because maybe if she had given in, he would still be with her. They would be in their queen-sized bed, sleeping, while his arms were wrapped around her, holding her close. But now she would never get to lay in his arms again.

As she sat on the couch, the couch where they shared so many memories, she wondered if he ever thought about her as much as she thought about him. Or if he even still cared about her. Maybe he had already moved on.

_It's a quarter after one,_

_I'm all alone and I need you now_

More tears were falling down Bella's cheeks, but she couldn't stop herself from thinking about him. She still loved him, despite the fact that it was her idea to end things with him. She wanted to touch his face and tell him that he needs to shave, she wanted that feeling she got whenever they kissed, she wanted to feel loved even at her lowest. She needed him, because without him, she felt so empty and alone. He completed her.

Bella picked up the photo album and turned it to the next page. It was another of them, one that was taken a few days after he had proposed to her. Their faces were glowing, and the modest diamond ring was sitting proudly on Bella's left hand. But what hurt the most was the big smile on their faces. Just two years ago she looked like that, and felt that happiness, the feeling that was so lost to her now.

His proposal was expected by everyone, including Bella. On their sixth anniversary of the day he asked her out, he got down on one knee and popped the question. She said yes, and started planning the wedding with her best friend. But for some reason, he and Bella just couldn't seem to set a date for their big day.

Then, that day, two weeks ago, he sat her down to talk. He wanted to break off the engagement, he said he didn't feel ready, he felt pressured into doing it, he wasn't sure what he wanted in life. Bella's heart broke at the words she said next: she said that maybe they should break up and see what else is out there. He agreed, but they both cried, and that was the last time they spoke. By the time Bella woke up in the morning he was gone, no note, no nothing.

_Said I wouldn't call_

_But I lost all control and I need you now_

They both agreed to give each other space, at least for a while. It would have been too complicated for him and Bella to jump right back into being friends after a serious relationship that lasted for eight years. But they never did say how long they would keep their silence, which is why Bella found it perfectly alright to call.

When Bella thought about the phone again, his home phone number started to piece itself together in her intoxicated mind. But it was late, and he probably wouldn't answer anyway. She could always leave a message though, but what would she say? Bella decided that it would be better to plan this out before she called, since she didn't want to ramble for several minutes.

She managed to stand up again and walk over to her desk, only tripping twice on discarded bottles. She found a notebook and a pen inside the first drawer and sat down, shoving other papers out of her way, letting them fall onto the floor. She could always pick those up later, because this was much more important.

Bella opened the notebook to the first blank page and uncapped her pen. She didn't know where to begin, or even what the whole point of leaving a message was. She knew that she still loved him, which she wrote down, that she missed him, which she also wrote down, and that she needed him, which she also wrote down.

_And I don't know how I can do without,_

_I just need you now_

At some point, Bella stopped thinking about it and decided to simply write from her heart. She wrote that she had just drowned herself in an unhealthy amount of alcohol, but no amount would make her forget how much she really cared about him. She wrote that she loved him, so much, and she never wanted to break up. She wrote that she missed him, that she didn't want to ever date anyone who wasn't him, and that right now, she really needed him.

Bella read over her words, which were blurring together on the page, and felt satisfied with her soon-to-be message. She took the notebook with her into the kitchen, where the phone was sitting on the charger. But when she started to pick up the phone, she noticed a bottle of vodka that was next to it. There was still some liquid left inside.

Maybe drinking some of the hard liquor would be a good idea to calm her down before calling him. There was a shot glass in the sink which Bella washed out, then she took the glass and the bottle into her living room, collapsing on the floor again. She poured a shot, and in seconds it was gone. Her hands trembled from the heavy bottle and the alcohol. But she didn't care.

_Another shot of whiskey,_

_Can't stop looking at the door_

A few shots later, Bella decided to stop and let the liquor work its way into her bloodstream. She crawled onto the couch and rested her head on the armrest, looking over her apartment. The concept of having to clean up everything later annoyed her, but it was her own fault for making the mess.

She stood up a few minutes later, making the decision that it should be okay to call him now. Even though she had consumed more than her fair share of alcohol, Bella still felt nervous about making the phone call. As she stumbled towards the telephone, she started to stare at the front door, trying to will it to open.

If only they were still together; that would make Bella's life so much easier. If he was still with her, Bella wouldn't be nervous about calling him, he would probably already be in her apartment, and she wouldn't be completely wasted right now.

However Bella couldn't live with him right now, because they were no longer a couple. That's why she missed him, and that's why she needed to call him and get him back through that threshold.

_Wishing you'd come sweeping_

_In the way you did before_

He used to walk through her door so casually, like he owned the place. He may as well have lived there with her, but Bella had always been against that idea until after marriage. But oh, did she regret that now. At this moment she would do anything as long as it meant she could be with him again. She wanted him to live there, so that way, she would never have to be without him again.

This time when Bella dialed his phone number, she couldn't even read the numbers, but she knew where they were. She sat down on the kitchen floor, listening to the phone ring and ring. She didn't expect him to answer, she was planning that he wouldn't, and she was mentally preparing herself to leave a message.

"Hi, you've reached –"

But no, she pressed the end button. Bella just couldn't bring herself to leave that message. She almost started to cry again, but then she started thinking. What was the big deal about leaving him one little drunken message about how much she missed him? He would probably call her back after she sobered up, then she could explain the mistake.

With this revelation, Bella started to dial the digits of his phone number again.

_And I wonder if I ever cross your mind_

_For me it happens all the time._

The ringing sounded the same as it did before, but this time Bella was ready. She fumbled around on the counter, looking for the message she had wrote down, but she couldn't find it. Oh well. She was already drunk, why not just wing it? It's not like he would ever know that she originally had a play anyway.

"Hi, you've reached Edward Cullen. I'm not available right now, so leave me a message and I'll get back to you."

A second later, there was a beep, and Bella began to fumble over her words.

"Um, hi Edward. It's me, Bella. I wasn't expecting you to answer your phone, and I guess I was right. Actually I was hoping that you wouldn't answer, and I guess I got what I wanted." She let out a nervous giggle, trying to remember what she had wanted to say. Alcohol usually did that to her.

_It's a quarter after one,_

_I'm a little drunk, and I need you now_

"Uh … well, I'm sorry I'm calling so late," Bella glanced at the clock on her stove, which read 1:15, "but I really needed to say some things to you. Well … to your voice mail I guess." She giggled again. Maybe being drunk for this was a bad idea.

"Sorry that I keep laughing, it's just that I'm really drunk right now … I've probably drank my body weight in alcohol," Another small laugh, "But no amount of alcohol can make me forget the way that I feel about you."

Bella paused for a few seconds, her message now taking a more serious tone. "I really miss you Edward. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, and I should have never said that we should see what else is out there. You're the only one for me, I know that now … I guess I've always known that."

She chewed on her bottom lip, trying to think of what she should say next.

_Said I wouldn't call_

_But I lost all control and I need you now_

"So I know we agreed to not call each other but … I needed to tell you that, and it was better than me just dropping by. But I still love you, and I can't live without you in my life anymore, Edward. Please call me back or visit me as soon as you get this. Bye."

Bella hung up the phone and put it back on the charger. She let out a huge sigh of relief, glad to have that over with. Of course she did still have Edward's reaction to deal with, but that wouldn't be until at least tomorrow. Plus she would probably be sleeping off her hangover, and that might buy her another day.

She walked back into her living room, tripping over the same objects she did the last few times, but this time kicking them out of her way. She briefly wondered how many times she had walked that same path in the last hour, but it wasn't important enough to keep thinking about.

As she sat down on the couch once again, Bella saw that the photo album was still open. She didn't know if there were any more pictures left inside, so she turned the pages to look. There weren't anymore recent ones, but turning to the back there were a few left from their childhood together. These upset Bella more than the other ones, since they had all of that history together and they had just thrown it all away. She decided that she would be done for the night and closed the photo album.

_And I don't know how I can do without,_

_I just need you now_

Bella's stomach suddenly felt queasy, either from the alcohol or from the realization that she just left a message for Edward. She sprinted to the bathroom as fast as her drunk legs would carry her and made it just in time to spill her insides into the toilet bowl. She felt like she was sick for hours, even though it was probably only for a few moments.

She rested her head against the cool porcelain and took a few deep breaths. Bella didn't feel sick anymore but her head was starting to hurt, a lot. The worst part was the she couldn't take any aspirin to get rid of her headache. That would basically be suicide, considering how pain medication and alcohol was a bad combination. So Bella settled for getting a glass of water from the sink and laying down on her bathroom floor.

The tile on the bathroom was cool and felt nice against Bella's sweating skin. She always felt horrible after vomiting, especially when she was drunk. Her body could consume a lot of alcohol initially, but a few hours later, Bella would start to have terrible side effects like being sick and getting headaches. It was especially bad after her twenty-first birthday since she didn't know what to expect.

But Edward had been there to take care of her that night, and every drunken night after that. Except for this one. He wasn't here anymore.

_Yes I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all_

It felt like Edward had just broken up with her all over again. Bella thought that there was a huge, gaping hole in her chest and it was hard for her to breathe. She started crying, since it wasn't worth trying to stop the tears anymore. Her sobs echoed through the room but no one was there to hear them. No one would ever be there to soothe her crying again.

No matter how much it hurt right now though, Bella knew that in a few years, she wouldn't regret giving herself to Edward. In her opinion it was better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Yes, it was hard right now, and yes, it wouldn't get any easier for a long time, but she knew that he relationship with Edward was special.

Right now all she wanted was to feel his hand running through her hair or stroking her back, telling her that everything was going to be okay and she would feel better in the morning. As she closed her eyes for the night, Bella could almost imagine the way his strong hand felt as it ran over her back. She focused so hard on that feeling that it was almost real. It was almost enough to fill the imaginary hole in her chest.

Sleep was starting to fill her thoughts, so even though Bella was laying on the bathroom floor, imagining Edward rubbing her back, she let her body shut down for the night.

_It's a quarter after one,_

_I'm all alone and I need you now_

When Bella opened her eyes again, she wasn't in the bathroom, but she was in her bed under the covers. It was also light outside, and as she sat up she noticed that it was just after ten in the morning. She also had a splitting headache that was so much worse than it was last night. What had happened last night? Bella could remember drinking, throwing pictures, and –

Oh _god_, the message she left. The first thing she wondered was if he got it, and what he thought about it. But she was wasted, and it was after one in the morning when she left it. Edward probably wouldn't take it seriously. After all she wasn't thinking logically last night, and he would know that. He wouldn't really think that she was still in love with him, right?

She was in love with him, of course, but he wasn't supposed to know that. He was the one who wanted to end things after all. Edward probably wanted nothing to do with her right now, and Bella was okay with that as long as he was happy. No matter how much she needed him, she would never force him to date her again, especially if he didn't love her anymore.

"Good morning sleepy-head."

_And I said I wouldn't call_

_But I'm a little drunk and I need you now_

Bella gasped, and turned towards her bedroom door, where she heard his voice. Sure enough, Edward was standing in the threshold with a bottle of painkillers and a glass of water. It was clear that he had barely slept last night, but she still thought that he looked just as good as she remembered. His normally bright green eyes seemed a little sad, but he still gave her his trademark smirk.

She blushed as she realized that she was still staring at him, and muttered a hello. Bella laid her head back down on her pillow, clearly embarrassed and still feeling horrible. She heard Edward chuckle and walk towards her, feeling the bed dip as he sat down next to her. "You never did handle alcohol very well," he murmured, handing her the medicine.

"Thank you," she whispered, sitting back up so she wouldn't choke on the pills. Edward handed her the glass before she could ask for it, and Bella gave him a look of gratitude. It was still humiliating knowing why he was here, but she did appreciate how much he cared about her still. "So … I take it you got my message then?" Bella asked, ducking her head to hide her red face.

"Yeah, I did," he responded, shifting his weight uncomfortably. "To be honest I'm surprised that you remembered that you left me a message. You were in pretty bad shape when I got here. You were basically passed out on your bathroom floor, mumbling my name in your sleep."

Edward paused to look at Bella, who seemed to be even more embarrassed. He laughed again, a gentle, not mocking sound, and draped his arm over her shoulders. She tried to ignore the electricity of his touch and how right it felt to be close to him so that he would continue. "So anyway, I carried you to your bed and crashed on your couch for the night. I wanted to be here just in case you needed me, so I hope you don't mind."

She shook her head, wincing as the small movement caused her pain. "No, I don't mind. That was really sweet of you actually," she confessed, looking up at him. It was Edward's turn to blush, and Bella smiled at his modesty. She let her head rest on his shoulder, and the two sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments.

_And I don't know how I can do without,_

_I just need you now_

"Bella … I have to ask," he began after a minute. She raised her head off of his shoulder and looked up at him. "Did … did you mean everything you said in your message? You know, when you said that you still loved me and you really missed me? I know that you were completely wasted, but I … I just … need to know if you meant it."

She looked down at her lap, where her hands were resting, and noticed that she was shaking. Sure, Bella knew that this conversation was coming, but that didn't mean that she was ready for it. She could always lie to him and say that she was drunk, so of course she didn't mean it, but before she got a chance to lie, Bella felt the truth slip from her lips, "Yes, Edward, I meant all of it. I'm still in love with you and I need you in my life."

Bella heard Edward exhale, and felt his weight shift on her bed. "Bella ..." he began, and she braced herself for the worst.

_I just need you now_

Edward gently grabbed Bella's chin so that they could make eye contact. She could feel the tears that were filling her eyes, but didn't notice that one had escaped until Edward wiped it away. "Bella, please don't cry," he said, "It breaks my heart to see you cry."

She furrowed her brow in confusion. "But … why?" It was a childish question, but she just had to know the answer to it.

He sighed, and Bella could see him searching for the right words to say. "Bella … I … I still love you, too. I never stopped, and these past few weeks have been killing me. I still need you in my life too, but I need to be with you. I couldn't handle my life without you in it, with me."

Bella gasped, and couldn't believe what she had just heard. Edward still wanted her, and he felt the same way that she did. She smiled at him, and he returned it. Then, by pure instinct, the leaned in and their lips met in a soft, passionate kiss. And Bella felt the fireworks that she had been missing for weeks. Now she would never have to miss them again.

_Oh baby I need you now_

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**A/N**: Honestly, the ending isn't my best work, but I've always had trouble with that. I think having the last of the words of the song there helps it considerably though, which is why I decided to leave the lyrics. Anyway, feel free to review and such. And no, I won't be doing a sequel. In case you didn't read before the story, I'm done with Twilight for now._  
_


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